


Turning Page

by TheXJames



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Bad Things Happened, Broken Promises, Established Relationship, F/F, I Blame Tumblr, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Lesbian Vampires, Past Relationship(s), Vampires, all over the place, it will be okay though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-08-09 05:12:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16443575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheXJames/pseuds/TheXJames
Summary: Beca never minded the fire. It invigorated her, following the girl into the midst of chaos, never knowing what the other side would hold. For so long it had only been her and Aubrey. Chloe was a breath of fresh air for both of them. Beca always suspected her sire had fallen a little bit in love with Chloe too, although she’d never admit or act on it. Only Beca had made that mistake.





	1. I'm Broken Here Tonight and Darling No One Else Can Fix Me

**Author's Note:**

> I'm taking a one shot and turning it into a story...scary thought. 
> 
> The chapters will take place throughout time, not in chronological order. That's intentional for now, I might organize it all once everything is finished. 
> 
> Please give me feedback, it makes me better. 
> 
> Also, rated M for content, not smut. Sorry guys :/
> 
> xxx Continue at your own risk...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs used for the creation of this story: 
> 
> "Only You" by Cheat Codes and Little Mix
> 
> "I Caught Fire" by The Used

_2017..._

 

“She still needs you.”

 

Beca looked down at the text on her phone, received seven minutes ago. It was from an unknown number, although Beca knew it was Aubrey. She didn’t question how Aubrey managed to get her phone number; she didn’t question who the text was about.

 

Fourty-seven years had passed since Beca had seen the fire and ice that was Chloe Beale. The autumn of 1971, that’s when she’d walked away from the life they led together. Beca had seen a lot of things in that time, plenty of changes in the world around her. Few things stayed the same.

 

Her Parisian apartment had a view of the Eiffel Tower. As she looked out onto it, the night sky being lit from the tip of the architectural marvel, Beca figured it was the reason she ended up returning to Paris. There were few constants in the changing world around her. She tended to gravitate toward those few.

 

Beca glanced back at the text, rereading the words. She hadn’t seen Chloe Beale in fourty-seven years, but she could still feel her. It was an unfortunate side-effect of being bonded in the way they were; at least Beca tried to tell herself it was unfortunate. Had it been that bothersome, she probably wouldn’t have continued to remain close to her. Beca could easily move across the world to get away from the feelings, she’d done it before, yet somehow here she was once more, in Paris.

 

It was always Chloe’s favorite city. They’d stayed there for up to five years at a time when they were still each other’s. Aubrey was there too of course. Since she’d sired Chloe she hadn’t left her side.

 

Aubrey was different with Chloe than she’d been with Beca. When she’d first sired Beca, they were inseparable. Aubrey taught Beca everything she knew, making sure she was careful with whom she took blood from, ensuring she knew how to defend herself, and how to glamour any humans who happened to catch her in a compromising position. After the first ten years though, Aubrey gave Beca space to be independent. She was always nearby of course, but Beca was free to come and go as she pleased.

 

Chloe had been different. Aubrey said it was because they were natural friends and she enjoyed being near the redhead. Beca knew the truth though. Chloe was wildfire. Where Beca was aloof and level-headed, Chloe was emotional and reactive. Even after eighty years, Chloe had a hot streak that had a tendency to lead to situations where cleanup was necessary. It wasn’t her fault of course, every vampire was a different. Their human personalities were amplified many times over. Beca was a fairly easy to tame personality, preferring a quiet corner to brood in over the throngs of people Chloe tended to gravitate toward. People caused problems, and in the first twenty or so years of Chloe’s new existence there were plenty of those problems.

 

Beca never minded the fire. It invigorated her, following the girl into the midst of chaos, never knowing what the other side would hold. For so long it had only been her and Aubrey. Chloe was a breath of fresh air for both of them. Beca always suspected her sire had fallen a little bit in love with Chloe too, although she’d never admit or act on it. Only Beca had made that mistake.

 

They had been in love. They had been happy. It was scintillating - the blaze of emotion devouring both of them as they traveled through the sands of time together.

 

Then they’d lost Emily. Nothing was the same.

 

Pain flashed through Beca as she thought about the girl for the first time in years. She wasn’t ready for those memories yet.

 

**************************

Chloe allowed the music to consume her. Chaleur was one of her favorite places in modern day Paris. It reminded her of the smoky jazz club she frequented in the 20’s, people foregoing their troubles and responsibilities to have their every sense surrounded.

 

'Beca is in Paris’ she thought. Chloe hated herself for even taking pause at the notion; she hated herself more for the whisper of hope and desire that stirred within her. Beca wanted nothing to do with her. She knew that. It had been made clear long ago.

 

It was hard; Chloe was constantly torn between wanting to feel Beca and know she was okay, happy, and not wanting to feel her at all. Beca was a piece of her soul. They were bonded; they would always be bonded - no matter how far apart they were.

 

It wasn’t Beca’s fault, Chloe knew that. After everything that had happened, the things she’d said. Chloe could still feel the hurt and guilt even with the time that had passed. She hadn’t meant the words that had come out, and Beca knew that, they were from a place of grief. She couldn’t pretend the feelings weren’t real though. Feelings don’t lie, and Beca had felt every one of them along with her. How could Chloe expect her to stay after that. She needed space, they both needed space.

 

Chloe just didn’t realize she needed fourty-seven years of space.

 

Chloe tried to dismiss the feel of Beca, replacing it instead with the feel of the stranger dancing behind her. As she had done so many times, she let herself get swept away in the sounds and atmosphere encompassing her, putting thoughts of chestnut hair and indigo eyes to the back of her mind.

 

**************************

 

Her phone vibrated again, and Beca looked at the screen.

 

“She’s at Chaleur. You should go. Talk to her. It’s time.”

 

Beca sat her phone down and ran a hand through her hair. She knew Aubrey could feel her as well as Chloe. She couldn’t imagine how that tore at Aubrey; it was another reason she decided to leave. It wasn’t fair to put her sire through that kind of torment.

 

She wasn’t sure she could see the redhead. Even after half a century the pain was still fresh in her heart. The words that were said, the insinuations, the judgement. She knew the words were meaningless, really, said out of grief and anger. It was enough to compound her guilt though, and coupled with being able to feel Chloe’s pain, it was too much.

 

She couldn’t fall again.

 

Paris didn’t feel the same, Beca thought to herself as she pulled a box out of the top of her armour. It was a box she hadn’t opened in a long time; pictures of Chloe, letters she’d received from her throughout the years. Beca wasn’t sure what compelled her to look through the box now. Maybe it was the fact that she could feel how close Chloe was. No matter the reason, it made her realize how different her life had been since she’d left. She was lonely, a problem that hadn’t existed before her kinship with Chloe. Yes, she'd always had Aubrey close but that was different. Aubrey was a sister, mentor, companion. Chloe had been her inamorata, her beloved, the mate of her mind, body, and soul. She’d known the moment she made the decision to leave that she would be broken for the rest of her existence.

 

Beca had made her decision, she wouldn’t go back now. It had been so long. Aubrey and Chloe had been fine without her. She’d been fine without them, existing in the shadows.

 

**********************

 

There was something off in the swell of bodies surrounding Chloe. She couldn't place it exactly, but she'd experienced the scent before. As she searched the archives of her memories the realization hit her. A hunter.

 

Chloe wasn't positive that she'd been spotted. It could always be a coincidence, Chaleur was a popular spot. She needed to get out of there though. Whether she was being tracked or not it wasn't safe to stay here.

 

Chloe made her way through the dancers, shifting between people, trying not to draw any attention to herself. She had just made it to the bar when she saw him. They made eye contact and she knew this wasn't a coincidence. Somehow she'd been found.

 

Bree had always taught her to be careful. They never stayed anywhere longer than five years, shorter if people began asking too many questions. They lived in shadows, moving throughout the area with little suspicion. Usually there were multiple apartments to ensure they had no reason to bring food back to their home. They stuck together, one never far from the other, so they could deal with problems when necessary. She was never alone. She'd never been found alone.

 

This time she was alone.

 

Chloe couldn't help but laugh to herself. She'd finally convinced Aubrey to give her some space, to let her have time to herself in her favorite city. She was regretting that right about now.

 

The hunter moved parallel to her. She knew she couldn't go out the front, it would be too much of an exposure risk. Hunters didn't care if humans were around, they would attack if they had an opening.

 

She needed the shadows.

 

Chloe saw the back door of the club and knew that was her best chance. If she could get into the alley she could get away; she could make it home and warn Aubrey that it was time to leave Paris.

 

**********************

 

Fate didn’t agree with her decision however, as she felt Chloe even more intensely. It would have been easy enough to ignore had it been the normal emotions she felt; excitement, calm, happiness, arousal on occasion. This was different though. This was fear.

 

Beca moved without a second thought.

 

The streets of Paris had died down by this time of the evening. There were a few people gathered on the sidewalks, not that they would have seen Beca as she weaved through the shadows. The fear had intensified, and it compelled Beca to move faster. Beca knew there were few things for her kind to fear. None of them had good implications, especially this time of the night. She found the club easily, glamouring the bouncer so she could skip the line and go straight through the door. Normally Beca was more cautious, but she needed to find Chloe. She needed to ensure her safety, no matter what had incurred between them.

 

The scent of a hundred bodies filled her nostrils. The amassed group of sweaty, damp frames on the dance floor reminded Beca of why she hated crowds. It was putrid, drowning out any sweet scent of blood she may have been able to notice. Beca scanned the floor for vermillion hair and cerulean eyes. She knew she was close, her connection with the other woman intensifying notably since she stepped into the club. It was waning though, coming through in waves of apprehension and panic. Beca wasn’t sure if it was the congregation of human emotions interfering with what she was trying to pick up, or if Chloe was moving away from her. She still hadn’t caught sight of her, so Beca moved toward the back of the club. She was coming upon the alley entrance when she felt it. A foreboding sense of dread so strong it pulled Beca in its direction. She burst through the back door of the club, into the alley, when she saw them.

 

The hunter had Chloe pressed against the alley wall, pulling the dagger from a sheath on his thigh. Beca caught its glint in the light shining from the corner of the alley; she knew that dagger. She recognized its markings. She sprinted forward.

 

******************************

 

Chloe snuck out the back door of the alley and was disappointed with what she saw. There was one entrance, to the right of the door, and it led onto a busy street. The other sides of the alley were brick walls at least twenty feet high. She could jump, but not that high in one go. The only option she saw was to fight. The man was just behind her in the club so he’d be stepping out into the alley any second. Chloe moved to the left of the door; she’d be able to jump on him before he saw her.

 

He must have realized her plan, Chloe thought to herself as she was pushed against the back wall of the alley. The man had taken her by surprise, shoving the door open hard and stunning her, giving her little time to fight back. This hunter obviously knew what he was doing. They were stronger than humans; Chloe was reminded of this as the man’s arm pressed against her throat, keeping her from sinking her teeth into him. If she could just get her arm free she might be able to hit him with enough force to disarm him, then she’d make him her next meal.

 

Suddenly he pulled out a dagger. Chloe’s blood ran cold when she looked upon the design. She looked into the man’s cold eyes and realized why he smelled familiar to her now.

 

‘It’s fitting to go this way’ she thought to herself as the tip of the dagger touched her chest.

 

******************************

 

It happened in a moment. Beca’s hand wrapped around the hunter’s neck as he began to press the blade to Chloe’s chest. She bit down, tearing the flesh and severing his artery instantly. In one movement he was on the ground, the blood spouting from his neck already pooling. She felt the sting where his dagger had sliced her arm on the way down, but it was nothing compared to what she felt from the girl now in front of her.

 

So many things flashed through her heart at once. She couldn’t focus on the emotions, aside from the gratitude. It was what anchored her, as she looked up into the eyes of the woman who meant more to her than her own existence.

 

“Beca?” Chloe said quietly. “What...how di-”

 

“I can still feel you.”

 

**************************

 

Chloe took in the girl before her, the chestnut hair, eyes that were alight with life; it was a change from the last time they’d seen each other. Her shock at what had just happened started to fade as questions caught up to her. How had Beca found her? Why was she here? Why did she save her?

 

“Beca?” She started. “What...how di-”

 

“I can still feel you.” Beca said quietly.

 

Chloe felt it then. Everything that had been blocked out by her own fear minutes before. The concern, the worry, the hesitation, the anxiety, the anger. She was feeling Beca, the intensity of which caused her to forget about why the other girl had left. It made Chloe forget everything except the way Beca was looking at her. Her eyes followed Beca’s hand, now covering the bleeding gash on her arm. Her eyes trailed up and noticed the way the brunette’s chest rose and fell quickly, the way her hands were trembling slightly, the way cobalt eyes never left hers. The eyes drew her in; they always had. From the first moment Chloe had known Beca she’d gotten lost in those eyes.

 

Chloe pushed herself off the wall of the alley, still as drawn to Beca as she’d always been. She felt the other girl tense slightly as she allowed her hands to fall on slender hips. Before Chloe could stop herself, her lips were on Beca’s.

 

*****************************

 

Beca relaxed the second she felt Chloe’s lips on her. Every thought that was racing through her mind stilled, like the moment between a thunder clap and flash of lightning. The silence consumed her, pulling her further into Chloe as the seconds ticked by. Beca realized then, still kissing Chloe in an abandoned alley that was nearly her soul’s graveyard, that she still needed Chloe too.

 

Fourty-seven years had passed since Beca had seen the fire and ice that was Chloe Beale. Fourty-seven years had passed since Beca had felt the warmth and live-giving energy of being irrevocably enamoured with another. She’d almost lost that, had come within a moment of never getting the chance to feel again.

 

The kiss ended naturally, as it had begun naturally, and Beca studied Chloe’s eyes for the first time in nearly half a decade. She was done running.

 

“I love you.” Beca breathed out. Chloe’s eyes shone with the same love Beca felt. A soft smile graced her features as she responded.

 

“Let’s go home.”  

 


	2. I'm The Shell of a Girl That I Used to Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stacie sighed. “What happened to Emily, Beca?” 
> 
> Beca’s brain fought with itself. She hadn’t even heard the name in so long, it tore at her immediately. Flashes of that night began attacking her vision - images she wanted more than anything to forget. The fear on Emily’s face, the pain - the betrayal on Chloe’s. She still felt the desolation that her love felt burning through her. 
> 
> Beca looked directly into Stacie’s eyes, connecting them momentarily, before taking Stacie’s hands in hers. 
> 
> “I killed her. She trusted me, and I killed her.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm stuck on this story cause I think it could be awesome, not that it probably will be, but it could be. Let me know what you think - good and bad. 
> 
> .....this one's rough guys. Don't say I didn't warn you. 
> 
>  
> 
> xxx Continue at your own risk...
> 
>  
> 
> Songs I used for the creation of this story: 
> 
> "The Lonely" by Christina Perri  
> "Samson" by Regina Spektor

_ 2003… _

 

Sitting at the corner of the dive bar, Beca nursed a Jack and Coke while warily eyeing the three guys playing pool to the right of her. They were on their fifth beer a piece at this point, and Beca could smell the alcohol coursing through their veins. She loathed the way alcohol ruined the smell and taste of blood; the acrid bitterness stuck with her for hours. The only way it was tolerable was if she was intoxicated enough not to notice. One of the few human benefits she still enjoyed was being able to be affected by alcohol - not to the extent of a fragile mortal body of course - but she’d take what she could get. 

 

Beca was about to order another Jack and Coke when a brunette slid into the stool next to her. Recognizing the scent of the woman beside her, Beca didn’t bother looking as she spoke. 

 

“What are you doing here Stacie?” 

 

“I could ask you the same thing.” The tall brunette responded, sliding a drink toward Beca before sipping her own. “When did you start slumming it in Portland?” 

 

“A few weeks ago. Needed somewhere different.” Beca replied, still not looking at the woman. 

 

“Figures.” Stacie said nonchalantly. “I ran into Red around that time.” 

 

Beca couldn’t help the snarl that left her lips. “What does that have to do with anything?” She asked, vitriol shrouding her voice. 

 

“You still go where she goes, don’t you?” When Beca didn’t respond Stacie continued. “She doesn’t know, if that helps. I’m not sure how she doesn’t but -” 

 

“She blocks me out.” Beca interrupted. 

 

Stacie stayed quiet for a moment. “You should stop hiding.” She suggested quietly. 

 

“Not an option, Stace.” Beca uttered. “After what I did...she never wants to see me again, and I don’t blame her.” 

 

“That’s not true Beca.” Stacie stated. “I could feel it you know? She still needs you. They both do.” 

 

Beca scoffed. “How would you know? You never stuck around long enough to know.” 

 

Stacie stayed quiet, letting Beca have her moment to vent. “Beca, you know me, I’m a free spirit. It’s the best part of the gig, coming and going as I please. That doesn’t mean I can’t be there for you, if you need to talk about it. It’s been...it was a long time ago.” 

 

Beca thought back to just how long it had been. September 1971, that was the last time she felt complete in her aberrated lifetime. Thirty-two years...had it really been that long? 

 

She was brought out of her thoughts by Stacie tapping a finger on the inside of her wrist. “Have you talked about it? With anyone?” 

 

Beca looked at her friend, if she could be called that anymore, and shook her head no. 

 

Stacie sighed. “What happened to Emily, Beca?” 

 

Beca’s brain fought with itself. She hadn’t even heard the name in so long, it tore at her immediately. Flashes of that night began attacking her vision - images she wanted more than anything to forget. The fear on Emily’s face, the pain - the betrayal on Chloe’s. She still felt the desolation that her love felt burning through her. 

 

Beca looked directly into Stacie’s eyes, connecting them momentarily, before taking Stacie’s hands in hers. 

 

“I killed her. She trusted me, and I killed her.” 

 

Stacie opened her mouth, ready to rebuke the statement, but stopped short as the images in Beca’s mind began filling hers. Beca watched as the brunette’s face morph as the fell into the memories - the last thing she saw before the recollection overtook her as well. 

 

_ Emily laughed as she twirled around in the park, the quick breeze lift the autumn leaves around her feet. Beca smiled, watching from the wall she perched on a few paces behind her. She had been so scared when they’d had to turn Emily; a life that young should never be tormented by immortality. She’d fought Aubrey on it endlessly, begging her to find a different way to save the girl. Unfortunately the cancer was too much for her fragile body - changing her was the only way. Emily had wanted it, she’d told all three of them when she first fell ill. Still though, turning the seventeen year old felt wrong to Beca. Moments like these though made it seem less wrong.  _

 

_ Emily loved their so-called life. She loved the freedom of moving around, choosing where they would live next. She was still new enough to this that it was marvelous to her. Beca hoped that never changed, she hoped the girl would always dance in the rain and twirl amongst falling leaves. It had been ten years since she had entered their lives, and Beca couldn’t imagine things ever being different. She was happy, she had a family. She had her constant mentor and sister in Aubrey, never questioning the solidity that was between them. She’d found her eternal mate, her inamorata, in Chloe; the fiery breath of life Beca didn’t know she was missing. With Emily though, Beca was her sire. It was a new and profound feeling of both protectiveness and responsibility.  _

 

_ Emily, being as young as she was in her mortal life, had become a younger sibling to the group of them. She brought a youthful air of exuberance to them; even Stacie was fond of her, coming around more often than she had in the past after meeting the bubbly girl for the first time.  _

 

_ Beca moved from her spot on the wall and walked toward the girl before her.  “C’mon Em, we need to head back. Chlo and Aubrey should be returning to the apartment by now.” As much as Beca was enjoying the early Autumn weather, she was hungry. They had a system of hunting, a pair would go out and find an acceptable mortal, usually the scum of humanity - rapists, murderers, child peddlers - and would lure them back to the apartment. It was the safest way to feed without being disturbed. She had gone a few days without feeding since they’d arrived in San Francisco, having to take the time to establish themselves before they could afford to feed, and it was beginning to take its toll on Beca. The usually sharp edges of her mental consideration were dulled, blurred from hunger. She knew if she was feeling the effects, Emily definitely was. Being such a young vampire meant she hadn’t built up a tolerance quite like the others had.  _

 

_ “You’re right.” Emily responded. She turned to walk back toward the apartment, a few miles away, but turned back toward Beca with a grin. “Can we race?”  _

 

_ Beca sighed, looking around she realized it had become quite late in the evening. The amount of people on the streets right now would be minimal. “Okay, but when I beat you it means you have chores for the week.” She said, returning the grin the taller brunette still wore.  _

 

_ Emily didn’t respond verbally, instead taking off through the trees of the park. Beca rolled her eyes as she took off after her, smiling at the familiar feeling of running with real speed. The trees darted by in blurs, soon giving way to buildings as they turned from one corner to the next. Emily was slightly faster than Beca, a fact she didn’t let her sire forget, so she was around the last corner before Beca, less than a block away from the apartment. Beca had already resigned herself to defeat, yelling ahead that Emily was still doing the chores, when the sight before her froze her in place.  _

 

“Beca -” Stacie whispered, pulling her out of the recollection. “Beca I don’t want to see anymore.” 

 

Their hands were still connected, but Stacie had pulled away slightly, causing the link to break. She looked down for a moment before looking back at Beca. “I can’t - I can’t watch it.” 

 

“You have to.” Beca said. 

 

“No.” Stacie shook her head. “I don’t need to see.  It wasn’t your fault Beca.” 

 

Beca pushed away from her. “What do you know? You weren’t there! You have no idea-” Beca stopped herself as her emotions sprang to life, the ones she’d spent decades dulling. She took a breath to steady herself. “You wanted to know what happened, you wanted to know the truth.” 

 

Stacie looked at her and Beca recognized the pain in her eyes. After a moment she nodded, grasping Beca’s hands again. “Okay, let me see the truth.” 

 

_ Beca turned the corner and saw Emily pinned against the wall of the adjacent building, a hunter’s blade being pulled from its sheath. Fear gripped her, so overwhelmingly intense she couldn’t breathe. She took a step forward, causing the hunter to glance in her direction for a moment - his face etched into her memory for eternity - before turning back and plunging the blade through Emily’s stomach.  _

 

_ “No!” She roared as her feet carried her toward the two. The hunter was already running though, realizing he’d lost the element of surprise. Beca didn’t even focus on him, she moved straight to where Emily was beginning to slump to the ground. Grabbing the girl in her arms she gently lowered her down.  _

 

_ “Shh...it’s okay. You’re okay.” She forced the words out as Emily looked at her, the shivers beginning to overtake her body.  _

 

_ “Bec-” Emily began.  _

 

_ “Don’t try to speak. Just hold on. Keep looking at me, don’t look away, just focus on me. It’s okay.” Beca knew it wasn’t. The blade had pierced too deep, nothing could be done. She felt the fear radiating off the girl in her arms though, and forced herself to stay calm.  _

 

_ “I’ve got you Em. I’ve got you.” She lightly ran her fingers through Emily’s hair.  _

 

_ “Beca…” Emily whispered, interrupted by coughing. She began sputtering blood, and Beca knew it wouldn’t be long.  _

 

_ “Stay with me Emily, you hear me? Just hang on.”  _

_ “Thank you.” Emily said, wrapping a hand around Beca’s wrist. _

 

_ “Please don’t leave me Em.” Beca whispered as she watched the young girl’s eyes dim.  _

 

_ Beca felt them approaching just as Emily’s body began to disintegrate, the ash floating away in the Autumn breeze. She heard voices speaking to her but couldn’t look away from her hands. Finally another pair of hands grabbed her shoulders, shaking her back to herself. Turning, she saw Aubrey and Chloe staring at her. Already, she could feel the edges of herself being ripped apart as they realized what happened.  _

 

_ “Beca?” Aubrey said tentatively.  _

 

_ “She’s gone.” The words were flat in Beca’s mouth.  _

 

_ Nothing else was said, but Beca felt all of it. She felt - and heard- Chloe’s wails as Aubrey tried to calm her. She felt the fear and anger radiating from both her sire and her mate.  _

 

_ “A hunter?” Aubrey finally spoke. Beca simply nodded, she didn’t have the energy to respond verbally.  _

 

_ “We should get inside.” Aubrey said, moving to lift Beca from her position still on the ground. Slowly, she pulled the brunette up but was shoved aside as Chloe grabbed her by the throat.  _

 

_ “You were supposed to protect her! It was your job, your responsibility to keep her safe and now she’s gone! How could you let this happen?” Chloe shrieked inches away from Beca’s face. She was too worked up to see the light had gone out in Beca’s eyes as well.  _

 

_ She couldn’t handle this. There was too much emotion, too much grief. It was her fault. Chloe blamed her. Aubrey blamed her. She could feel it radiating from them; a truth unspoken. Emily was dead because of her.  _

 

_ Aubrey pulled Chloe away, turning from Beca to calm her. Beca took her chance, she had to get away from it all. She couldn’t be here anymore - didn’t deserve to be here anymore.  _

 

_ The last thing she heard as she entered the darkness was Chloe calling her name.  _

  
  


“You couldn’t have stopped it Beca.” 

 

“I froze.” Beca muttered, more to herself than Stacie. 

 

“It wouldn’t have mattered, it was too -” 

 

“I froze! And she died!” Beca cried out as she stood from the bar, nearly knocking their drinks over in her haste. Realizing they were attracting attention from the few patrons left, Beca moved towards the door. She felt Stacie following her but didn’t stop until they were in the alley outside the bar. 

“Beca...it wasn’t your fault.” Stacie whispered, taking a step closer to the girl. 

 

“Tell that to them.” Beca stated, all emotion removed from her voice once more. “Tell that to Emily.” 

 

Stacie sighed, reaching a hand out to grasp Beca’s forearm. “What you feel? The pain, the grief, the blame - you have to let it go. She would want you to let it go. She’d want you to be happy again.” 

 

“I don’t deserve to feel happiness ever again.” Beca said resolutely. 

 

“Is that why you left? You’re punishing yourself?” Stacie questioned. 

 

“I…” Beca paused. It would be an easy excuse to use, but she had already allowed Stacie to see the truth. “You know why I left.” 

 

“It was grief. She was hurting as much as you were - still are. You two still need each other.” Stacie said. 

 

Beca took a few steps toward the other end of the alley. It was time for her to head out, after reliving that night she needed some time away from Chloe and Aubrey. She’d move to a new city for a few months and clear her head, then go back to her eternal torment of following her inamorata - undeserving of her affection.  “Don’t tell her I showed you Stace. Don’t tell her you saw me.” 

 

Stacie sighed but didn’t argue. She turned down the other end of the alley, looking back over her shoulder to see the small brunette had already disappeared into the shadows. 

 

“Be safe Beca.” She whispered into the night. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll make the next chapter happier I promise.


	3. But You Catch a Glimpse of Sunlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She was lost. It was as if she’d been looking for that voice her entire existence. Beca forgot about Aubrey, the bar, the carefree patrons all around her. All the noise faded away, leaving only her and the redhead. The redhead that was still looking directly at her, as if she was able to be seen over the spotlight of the stage. The voice that seemed to be for her and her alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dudes, trying to incorporate language from this era is ridiculous. I think I just did more research for this chapter than I did for my 400 level Applied History research paper. So yeah, have fun googling :) Also, for those of you who are hardcore music nerds (as am I) I understand that the song used in the fic doesn't match the time frame, but I really wanted to use it so creative liberties. 
> 
> This chapter is a "part one" of sorts, though the second part may not be the next chapter. I haven't decided yet (I'm telling you keeping this in the correct era language wise is tough). 
> 
> Anywho, a brief break in the angst for you all. 
> 
> xxx Continue at your own risk....
> 
>  
> 
> Songs played while writing this piece: 
> 
> "I'll Be Seeing You" by Billie Holiday  
> "The Well" by Imaginary Future  
> "Light" by Sleeping At Last  
> "In My Veins" by Andrew Belle (title lyrics)

 

 

 

_1921…_

 

Beca tapped the table as she took a drag of her Camel cigarette. The dealer flipped her card, a nine, putting her at 19 total.

 

“Ms Kavanaugh?” The young man across from her questioned.

 

Beca slightly shook her head that she would stay. She discreetly sniffed the air, picking up the nervousness coursing through the dealer’s veins. She smiled slightly to herself, knowing she had another winning hand. The evening was going her way.

 

“Rebecca.” She winced, hearing Aubrey’s no-nonsense tone. Turning, she saw the blonde looking at her - not amused in the slightest.

 

Sighing, Beca collected her chips - leaving her cards on the table - and followed Aubrey outside. Barely through the door the blonde turned on her.

 

“What did I tell you about coming here?” She harshly whispered as she looped an arm through Beca’s.

 

“I missed out on fifty dollars because of you.” Was Beca’s nonchalant reply. She pulled out another square and her matchbook.

 

“Fifty dollars you have no need for. Are you trying to make us pack up and move again?”

 

Beca rolled her eyes, taking a drag of the cig. “You overreach.”

 

“The house was watching, they know you’re pulling a grift even if they don’t know how. Please try to maintain yourself for a time at least.” Aubrey began walking, turning her nose as the smoke from Beca’s cig drifted toward her.

 

“Stop acting posh.” Beca replied while pulling a square out to hand to the blonde. She took it - as well as the matchbook - stopping to light up.

 

They continued walking from the alley to the main street. “Kavanaugh eh?” Aubrey said, humor in her tone.

 

“The gentleman from last week - seemed like a fine name.” Beca replied.

  


“I must say, I expect better of you. You said you like the city.” Aubrey said as she pulled the smoke between her lips.

 

“It is better than Chicago, more to-do’s.” Beca said, beginning their walk again.

 

They’d landed themselves a fair spot in New York City a few months back. It was a good city to hide in, full up with men back from the war, immigrants, and lowlifes looking for work. Busy both day and evening, with shadows to hide in at every turn. Beca knew Aubrey was right to be cautious, she really didn’t want to move again so soon, but that didn’t mean she wanted to have no fun.

 

“You won’t let me go to my joints, where would you prefer we go?” She asked Aubrey.

 

Aubrey grinned as she nodded her head down the street, to a blue neon sign. It was nondescript enough, resembling the laundry signs around the city. Beca knew though, and her eyes lit up as she turned to the blonde.

 

“You found a speakeasy?” She asked excitedly.

 

“I did, one filled with fast boys to boot. Easy come, easy go.” Aubrey whispered animatedly to Beca. “We can toss back a few and pick a good one to feed altogether.”

 

Beca grimaced slightly at the last part of Aubrey’s sentence. She still hated the way they fed, it was much less preferable now that the war was over. The Great War had made it easy, slipping throughout Europe picking off Nazi soldiers - nobody knew the wiser, or cared for that matter. It was the first time since her turning that she could feed without guilt. Even welchers and crumbs had family.

 

It was a necessary evil, she knew. Better to pick off the scum than make a mistake in a hunger craze.

 

As they walked into the speakeasy, moving past the bouncer with a breeze, Beca adjusted to the soft blue light emanating from the ceiling around them. She took a look around, noting a jazz band playing in the corner stage, a setup of around ten tables surrounding that area. Just past the tables was a dance floor - a few couples taking advantage of the upbeat song being played as they let loose in one of the few wet bars in the city. As she peered from right to left, Beca saw what she was looking for, the bar.

 

“I’ll get us drinks, the usual?” She turned to ask Aubrey.

 

“Please?” Aubrey replied. “I’ll find us a table for now.”

 

Beca moved up to the bar, waiting for the bartend to notice a new customer. He spotted her as she lifted her hand slightly and moved to ask for her order.

 

“An Aviation and a Whiskey straight.” Beca called to the bartend. He quirked an eyebrow but nodded and began making the drinks. Beca took the moment to observe the bar area. There were a few people seated on stools to the left side of the bar, most looking like Wall Streeters drinking away their days. She noted the man in the far left, looking less of a businessman and more illicit. She’d have to point him out to Aubrey later in the evening.

 

Her drinks were ready, so she took them, laying down a few extra aces for the young bartend. He smiled appreciatively and Beca knew she’d have no problem procuring service for the rest of the night. Turning to see where Aubrey had found a table for them, she made her way around the right of the dance floor to take a seat.

 

A few minutes into nursing her gin, Beca leaned into Aubrey. “There’s a mark in the back by the bar.”

 

Aubrey turned, glancing around as if surveying her surroundings. “Looks good. Keep an eye?”

 

Beca nodded, knowing his night wasn’t going to end the way he anticipated. She told herself, once again, that nothing could be done. There was no better way that they knew of. Still, it wore at her.

 

The lights on the stage suddenly dimmed and the crowd throughout the joint began gathering closer to the area they were seated in. One light appeared on stage, in the center, and a woman stepped up to it. Beca was transfixed, she was wearing a royal blue dress, cutaway just below the knees in an a-line. Her hair was fire, enhanced by the red hue of the backlighting now on the stage. What caught Beca the most though, was her eyes. Piercing would be the first word that came to her mind. The lovely pale blue of a perfect summer morning sky, those eyes met hers before she began singing.

 

_I’ll be seeing you, in all the old familiar places._

_That this heart of mine embraces all day through._

_In that small cafe, the park across the way._

_The children’s carousel, the chestnut trees, the wishing well._

 

She was lost. It was as if she’d been looking for that voice her entire existence. Beca forgot about Aubrey, the bar, the carefree patrons all around her. All the noise faded away, leaving only her and the redhead. The redhead that was still looking directly at her, as if she was able to be seen over the spotlight of the stage. The voice that seemed to be for her and her alone.

 

_I’ll find you in the morning sun, and when the night is new_

_I’ll be looking at the moon but I’ll be seeing you._

 

Every fibre of her being was transfixed, solely focused on the woman whose gaze she held. She leaned forward, arms perched on the small table before her, taking in every scintillating detail. The sound of that voice reaching her ears; making her feel as if it was the first time she heard a bird sing. The sight of ice blending with fire, swirling together in a wave of everything she ever wanted. The sweet, slightly floral scent of a life essence she had to know.  Nobody else mattered, nothing else mattered, save for the woman before her. She craved her, to be closer, to touch. The thirst she felt wasn’t like anything she’d experienced before, this wasn’t a thirst that could be quenched simply - with a scat or quick trife. No, this was more, deeper - lasting.

 

Abruptly, Aubrey grabbed hold of her elbow and pulled her up. “Let’s go.” She said harshly, leading Beca out toward the street, the brunette going willingly as she was still entranced. She didn’t register that they were moving until the door of the speakeasy was upon her.

 

“You’ve fallen.” Aubrey said quietly, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

 

Beca stood on the sidewalk a few paces down from the speakeasy trying to ascertain what had just happened. She felt dazed, everything in her  yearning to go back in the speakeasy, to go back to that voice.

 

“Rebecca.” Aubrey spoke again, snapping her fingers in front of Beca’s face. “Did you hear me?”

 

“What?” Beca replied.

 

Aubrey sighed. “We need to leave. Now.” The blonde began pulling Beca down the sidewalk, away from the speakeasy, away from the girl.

 

“No. I don’t want to leave. Let’s go back in.” Beca spoke.

 

Aubrey ignored her, continuing to guide her down the block until they were far enough away that Beca could barely see the neon hue from the above door sign. They moved down the subway steps and continued onto a train, Aubrey never letting go of Beca’s elbow.

 

“Why can’t we go back?” Beca asked, trying to squirm away from the blonde. If she could get off at the next station it wouldn’t take long to run back - maybe the redhead would still be there.

 

“Don’t talk until we get home.” Aubrey commanded, looking directly into Beca’s eyes. “We are going home.” She was bidding her, requiring her to obey as her sire. Beca knew it but couldn’t do anything about it. Aubrey rarely bid Beca, stating that she didn’t feel right influencing her that way. Only in dire circumstances had she done it, which confused Beca as to why it was happening now.

 

As they entered the walk-up they had acquired upon moving to the city, Aubrey lashed the door closed and went directly to their bar, pouring herself a drink. She was tense, Beca could feel now, and still hadn’t said anything since the train.

 

“Aubrey?” Beca questioned. “What is it?”

 

Aubrey came and sat on the small sofa beside Beca, downing her drink in one quick quaff. “I felt it. It was so intense it took a moment for me to shake it off. You’ve fallen Beca.”

 

“What?” Beca asked. “I - there’s not - it can’t be.”

 

“Apparently it can be.”

 

Beca paused, her head spinning. Inculcare, or “falling” as it was colloquially known to their kind, was so rare it was considered myth anymore. It required the belief that their kind still had a soul - a belief that Beca did not transcribe to. The idea that two souls belonged to each other, no matter the lifetime, it was too far fetched. Beca had never allowed herself to think she could be entwined with another - she didn’t deserve that kind of connection with another being, especially a human.

 

“Beca.” Aubrey said softly. “Slow down.” For a moment Beca had again forgotten Aubrey was there, and could feel the emotions flooding her brain.

 

“I don’t understand.” Beca said, placing her head in her hands.

 

“I know, I don’t entirely either. I’ve never - what should we do?” Aubrey asked.

 

“Beats me!” Beca exclaimed. “Unless you want to go back -”

 

“Don’t even finish that sentence.” Aubrey interrupted. “The one thing you can NOT do is go back to that joint. She’s flesh Beca, we have no idea what might happen.”

 

“I know.” Beca said, defeated. “I know, I do, but...Aubrey I can’t. I have to go back. I have to see her again.” The longer they sat there the more unraveled Beca felt. She’d never been so off-center, it was as if the axis in her world had shifted. She knew why, it was starting to come together, though she couldn’t say that to Aubrey.  

 

“Think nothing of it.” Aubrey suddenly said, causing Beca to look up at her. “I can practically hear your thoughts they’re so obvious.”

 

“We still need to feed. The longer we wait the more risk there is, you know.” Beca responded.

 

“I’ll go alone. I don’t want you back out there tonight.”

 

“Aubrey you know that’s a bad idea.” Beca said.

 

“Buzz off, it’ll be fine. In the morning we will head to Boston.” Aubrey stated.

 

“We don’t have to leave the city, it will be fine.” Beca replied but Aubrey looked as if she didn’t believe her at all. “Honest, this city is big enough that I never have to go back in that area.”

 

Aubrey stared at her for a moment, and Beca did her best to steel her emotions - thinking of calm and boring things. “Fine, we’ll discuss more in the morning. For now though, stay here. Please don’t be a simp and go back there.”

 

“I’ll be right here, promise.” Beca said.

 

Aubrey gathered her things a left a few minutes later, making Beca promise her again that she’d stay put. She felt bad lying to her sire, but nothing could be done about that. She had to get back to the redhead, had to try at least. She counted to a thousand after hearing the click of Aubrey’s heels down the stairs outside their apartment then opened the door, peering out to ensure the blonde wasn’t waiting to see if she’d leave. After confirming the coast was clear, Beca took off at full speed toward the direction of the speakeasy. It had been just over an hour in total since they’d left; there was a chance the redhead was still there.

 

Walking back down the stairs Beca’s eyes went immediately to the stage. She sagged as she saw the standard blue hue encompassing the area once again, with no sign of the girl from before. Beca stood for a moment, trying to sense or smell her once more, but to no avail. Disheartened, she went back up and around the corner to the alley. She pulled a cigarette and her matchbook, lighting the square before taking a long inhale.

 

“Spare a drag?” Someone asked, coming from the other side of the alley. She’d heard that voice before. Looking up, her eyes were encapsulated in ice once more.

“I’ve seen you.” The woman said, intrigue coloring her voice. Beca simply nodded, words had left her. “You were here, before.” Again, a nod was the best the brunette could do. Being this close to the woman was intensifying the earlier effects she’d experienced. The redhead continued to look at her, seemingly as entranced as she felt, before shaking her head and clearing her voice. “So, about that drag?”

 

Beca’s fingers fumbled to open her cig case, nearly dropping it before it snapped open. She pulled a cigarette out and went to hand it to the woman, just as the redhead reached to grab one. Their fingers barely grazed, not even a full touch, but Beca felt as if she’d been struck by a small bolt of lightning. Electric currents traveled from her fingertips directly to the space that her heart had been, an almost painful sensation coursing through her. The woman causing the current gasped, pulling her hand back and staring at Beca as if she were seeing fireworks for the first time, awe and a slight fear etched on her face.

 

“Who are you?” Beca stammered, finally finding her voice.

 

The woman steadily looked at her for a moment, icy, unabating eyes seemingly warming as they stared into Beca’s, the pull of a magnet bringing both women closer together.

 

Eventually, the woman spoke once more.

 

“Chloe.” She said, mere inches from Beca’s face. “My name is Chloe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know the drill, tell me what you think!


End file.
